Glossary terms

C-PTSD – Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) can result from experiencing chronic patterns of repeated traumas, such as prolonged child abuse, incarceration or domestic violence. It’s closely related to PTSD and borderline personality disorder. C-PTSD is manageable with psychotherapy (talk therapy) and medication. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd

Trauma bonding – Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The person experiencing abuse may develop sympathy for the abusive person, which becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse, followed by remorse. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/trauma-bonding

This pattern may repeat later in life, and show up as attachment patterns that lead to romantic connections or friendships that echo or recreate the patterns of trauma-related attachment from youth. It is also possible to ‘trauma bond’ with other survivors who have experienced similar traumas. Such bonds often include mutual enabling of coping mechanisms and reinforcement of disempowering victim mindsets.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – also known as “tapping,” this is a method that some individuals have found helpful in managing their emotions. During EFT, individuals tap certain points on their body – similar to the points used during acupuncture. Tapping was first introduced in the 1990s by Gary Craig, a Stanford graduate and certified master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming. https://www.purdue.edu/newsroom/purduetoday/releases/2023/Q3/emotional-freedom-technique-research-supports-benefits-of-tapping-for-mental-health.html 

Polyvagal Theory – The Polyvagal Theory links the evolution of the autonomic nervous system to affective experience, emotional expression, facial gestures, vocal communication and contingent social behavior. Thus, the theory provides a plausible explanation of several social, emotional and communication behaviors and disorders. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1868418/#:~:text=The%20Polyvagal%20Theory%20links%20the,and%20communication%20behaviors%20and%20disorders

Touch-based  – A “touch-based” event is an event designed around facilitated experiences of human touch. These events are common on the West Coast of the United States, and aim to help people acheive a higher quality of life through the adoption of equitable consent practices and the creation of conscious containers where people can get their needs for touch met in a non-romantic setting. 

Sex-possible – these events are often containered or facilitated to some extent, where people come to explore their sexuality and may choose to find expression. Various types of “sex-possible” events include sex parties, sex positive gatherings, Tantra events, swinger parties, orgies, and certain (but not all) BDSM get togethers. Some clubs and dungeons have “sex possible” mixer nights where people can come seeking new partners for “scenes” that may or may not include sexual expression. The “possible” part of the name is meant to release expectations that everyone in attendance must participate in a sexual act, while also clearly informing potential invitees about the nature of what they may witness or be propositioned for should they choose to attend. 

Peer-based facilitation – This is a form of facilitation that diminishes the power differential in groups by sharing facilitation duties among peers rather than concentrating power in one individual. Peer-based facilitation often includes peer-based accountability and mutual support processes. Peers undergo a shared values alignment process and agreement setting, rather than a proscriptive approach that dictates such matters.

Informed consent – “someone can only consent if they know the facts to what they are consenting to” – (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-illinois/blog/hold-the-candy-hearts-fries-are-on-the-menu-this-valentines-day)

This requires communicating specific information about what is intended, and who it is for – “may I touch you?” is too broad. A more effective form of communication might be “May I touch your inner elbow with my fingers, and stroke in a circular motion, for my own pleasure and curiosity?”

See: https://bettymartin.org/videos/

Zero-sum thinking – The habitual perception that most or all situations are “zero-sum games”, where one person’s gain require the loss of all other players. This is a psychological construct — a person’s subjective interpretation of a situation. Contrasts with the concepts of synergy, symbiosis, and “third alternative thinking”

Third Alternative Thinking – From the work of Steven Covey. The “third alternative” is to seek synergy, where a win-win deal benefits both parties. This is in contrast to “zero sum thinking” which defines only two possible outcomes in negotiation: “your way” or “my way”.

Family of origin – The network of caregivers, typically biological parents and grandparents, that define a person’s cultural and emotional landscape in early youth.

Drama Triangle – First described in psychological literature by Steven Kerpmen, this three-way relationship defines systems of emotional energy motivated by (and perpetuating) drama. The three positions are victim, perpetrator, and hero.

Empowerment Triangle – in complement to the drama triangle, this defines the relationships between a survivor/creator, challenger, and coach. By redefining our roles we can escape drama and find healing, integration, and repair. 

Felt-somatic – somatic means “in the body” or “of the body”; a felt-somatic experience refers to a sensation in the body as opposed to the feelings related to meaning and context, made as the psychological, social or intellectual component of an experience.

Rugged Individualism – A concept widely perpetuated in the United States that emphasizes grit, determination, and personal sovereignty. This perspective is often criticized for diminishing or ignoring interconnectedness, and the human needs for relationship, touch, and care from others.

Conscious intimacy – The pursuit of intimacy with intention. Conscious intimacy emphasizes consent and meaning, and events centered around this concept are in service of a deeper purpose – typically some combination of personal healing, community building, and skill-building in service of these goals

Attachment wounds – psychological wounding in the attachment system. Childhood trauma in the forms of abuse or neglect by primary caregivers, especially parents, often lead to relationship challenges later in life due to disruption of secure attachment mechanisms

Codependency – The original meaning of codependency, in a clinical psychological context, described the relationship between an addict and an enabler: the addict is dependent on a substance such as alcohol to perform basic tasks, and the enabler is in turn dependent upon that individual for some measure of their own needs. In the modern meaning, lay people have begun using the word to describe emotional enmeshment where one or both parties have an emotional state that is dependent to an exaggerated degree on the behavior of their partner.

Martyrdom – in the context of insecure attachment systems, a person over giving or sacrificing one’s own needs with the belief that the other person’s needs are more important, or that the continuation of the relationship requires that they suffer in some way. See:Zero-sum thinking

Trauma-Aware – somewhat synonymous with “trauma informed”, this phrase is used to describe professionals working in sensitive areas such as coaching, therapy or massage who have received training on how to effectively and compassionately support those who have survived trauma. Requires an awareness around the many ways trauma can affect stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and an understanding of how to support someone experiencing heightened reactivity or flashbacks due to severe, unintegrated trauma.

Catharsis-Healing-Integration cycle – this framework sees personal evolution and maturation as requiring a discharge of “stuck energy” or “stagnant emotions” that were suppressed due to socialization, abuse, or neglect. The healing phase requires receiving and accepting empathy and compassion in the wake of catharsis or discharge; this is necessary to accept what happened and let go of the meaning made around the events leading to the wound in question. Integration leads to changes in perception, habit, and character over time, as new meaning making leads naturally to new motivations. This in turn opens up new opportunities for catharsis of emotional energies, perpetuating a positive cycle of healing and personal growth. Applicable to both individuals and systems.

Victim Blaming – Blaming the victim is a phenomenon in which victims of crimes or tragedies are held accountable for what happened to them. Victim blaming allows people to believe that such events could never happen to them. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-people-blame-the-victim-2795911#:~:text=Blaming%20the%20victim%20is%20a,could%20never%20happen%20to%20them.